Journey of the Adopted Self

— Written by Betty Jean Lifton (adult adoptee) in 1994, 328 pages

— Review written by Heather Gonzales, 2024

Quick Review & Considerations:

This book was written a while ago, and some of the content is limited by this (such as writing on rebirthing, language on illegitimacy, and others), but there are still concepts in it that are relevant today and it should not be dismissed from a reading list. There are concepts and examples in this book that I continue to use on a regular basis in my work, and plenty of current research, writers, and presenters cite Lifton’s work today.
A key concept from this book that is still largely discussed and used within the adoptee community today is Lifton’s discussion on the “Ghost Kingdom”.
The first part of this book is largely about adoption and identity, the second part is mainly about adoptee reunion, and the last chapter is on healing.
In the first section, there are helpful sections on adoptee identity, secret-keeping, the creation of a forbidden self, and closed vs open adoption. Numerous examples are given in the reunion section.
This book includes several sections on less-seen but important topics such as birth fathers (ch 13), and genetic sexual attraction (GSA) which can be hard to read about or understand but is a real issue that some adoptees deal with in reunion (ch 15).
Recommended reading list is included at the end

Please Note:

Listing books here is not intended to indicate absolute agreement with all content, techniques, suggestions, word choices, or other work by the authors- but to indicate a large portion of information that was found helpful. It is recommended that whatever you read, no matter who recommends it or writes it, that readers use critical thinking and that content is reviewed in a thoughtful, contemplative, and reflective manner.

List and comments reflect the individual opinions of Heather Gonzales and are written from the perspective of an adoptee, for those looking for resources for adoptees or adoptive families specifically. Lists are not necessarily a reflection of all staff or Encompass Adoptees as a whole.

Reviews are updated periodically.